Wednesday, January 11, 2006

How we pee: a poll

I recently found myself in the position, so to speak, of explaining to someone the manner in which I pee. I obliged with pleasure, glad to be able to share my unquestioned expertise in this matter. Initially I was confident in asserting that my own manner of peeing is consistent with the vast majority of other human individuals possessing male parts...

However, shortly after making this bold claim, it was called to my attention that some of my own flesh and blood don't even pee like me. So, here I am, on the internet, asking for those legions of male equipped readers who frequent this page to weigh in on their peeing style.

Specifically, the question we are answering is who uses the "fly" of their briefs/boxers, who for that matter, uses the "fly" of their pants, who pulls their pants and underwear down to their knees to pee, who doesnt wear underwear, etc.

please comment

 also, regarding those who would acquire an external device to aid in the utilization of a fly or otherwise, please find one at this link.  

11 comments:

DangerMouse said...

Mr. Moondog has apparently forgotten that not all of us have the control, will, or ability to remove male parts from pants to engage in the peeing act. Some simply pee in their pants, or those with greater sophistication (or more responsible gaurdians)pee in their diapers. Also, there are those without male parts proper, who by ingenious use of certain protheses (see "magic cone") manage to project urine in a forward direction in a manner familiar to all of us with "true" male genitalia. That said, I am certainly not in either category.

My method involves the unzipping/unbuttoning of the outer fly of the pants, followed by an inward reach through the inner fly and a semi-circular flip-type motion that brings the junk, sans testes, outside of the clothing. Then I pee.

Anonymous said...

i pee over the top of the undies via top button of my pantaloons.......onto my shoe. jesse

Anonymous said...

I'm an unbutton and over the top kind of guy.
Though my routine changes according to context.
Public Bathroom (urinal): I call it the 'Standing Ovation': Left hand wall, right hand junk. Head down (call me old fashioned). Concentration is key here. Also - no talking. Conversation stops, but may resume at the first sound of flush. Don't flush - it's a fucking urinal.
Public Bathroom (stall w/toilet): I call it the 'American Standard'. Lift rim with foot. Two hands on junk. Flush toilet with foot. Talking allowed (curiously).
Private bathroom (my house)- Call it 'Free Bird'. Two hands on wall (you're-under- arrest style). What can I say? I know my toilet. Door open. Toilet seat down. Flush with both hands. Very comfortable.
Prison: I call it 'Tiger Sitting in Woods'. Girl, you sit DOWN WHEN YOU PEE!

-tyler.fucking.nugent

Anonymous said...

The 'High Brow' - Outside. Head up. Hands on hips. Into gail forced winds.

-t.f.n.

IntelliGirl Design said...

x posted here

Anonymous said...

I make use of both flies when I'm wearing pants with zipper and boxers.

However, it is interesting to note that my technique changes when I'm wearing sweatpants or any pants with an elastic-type waistband. In this (admittedly unusual) case, I pull down the elastic bands of both the pants and the boxers, using one hand to hold and aim, and one hand to continue holding the elastic bands down.

I think in general, the path of least resistance is the best when peeing.

DangerMouse said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DangerMouse said...

I wa talking to a couple guys and they seemed to think that the pee through fly method is gross. "That's a dirty pee," they said. And maybe it is. A filthy dirty pee. But as the saying goes, "No matter how you shake and dance, the last two drops go in your pants."

chad said...

I use the same method as Mr. Mouse, right down to the flip type motion. I am at a loss to explain exactly when or how I developed this motion, and I certainly have no conscious control over the execution thereof. As far as the dirtiness of said pee, I cannot say. I know that I used another method when I was younger, but there a lot of uncontrolled variables when comparing 8 year old chad to 22 year old chad-- not the least of which are the removal of sweatpants from my wardrobe and the addition of jim beam to my liquor cabinet. In terms of style, I use a wide stance with one hand holding and the other idly nearby, right, in case things get out of hand, I guess. I am not a indoor user of t.f.n's "highbrow" though I have seen it in action, but I don't huddle up against the urinal either. I view that as a sign of weakness.

The Server said...

I tend to unbutton and zip down pants, then I lower boxers and unfold junk over boxers. I find this method to be the one that allows me the most control, while also seeing to it that I don't get piss stains all down my pants during the shake down(like some people I know). Also the best part about this method is that there is almost a zero chance of accidentally zipping up your junk in your trunk, so to speak, as this method does not require you to place junk inside a danger zone of metal teeth.

qualityguy said...

I just whip it out, and see how far & high I can shoot my urine